A Journey from Anxiety to peace

The way to overcome underlying consistent anxiety and fear that manifests as panic attacks is to recognize that our most primitive human embodiment is not separate from Source-the Divine, as its whole and complete perfection Our nervous system adapted toward survival and the Divine, energetic, complete, multidimensionality of our being is not separate. To come to know that all is God and therefore all is Good. All things exist as oneness on a spectrum.

Despite plunging into the depths of trauma healing processes, for whatever reason, I was unable to access something so deeply rooted that it took an expected occurrence to bring it into my conscious awareness enough to be witnessed. 

Just as shadow work brings forth that which is not true so that we can process it, plant medicines can do the same. While experimenting with THC, a realization about anxiety came in an unexpected way.  Just as it began to influence my state of being, I felt an extremely abrupt dissociation from Source, from God and the universe as if I was just a material object trying to make its way through life that is disconnected from meaning and from others and the source of all that exists. I had come face to face with a deep fear that had influenced my unaltered perception from time to time - manifest as an underlying fear and anxiety and oftentimes panic attacks, whenever in any unfamiliar place.

These moments of irrational panic were so far removed from the magnificent experiences I accessed in meditation where I could feel, know, and witness my oneness with God - with all that is. This place where there is no doubt that the Kingdom of Heaven is within and that we are all One. That God is Love. Where the magnificence of existence is felt in every level of my being. 

My days would teeter between these two domains of experience. 

Until after this THC experience I came across once again certain Hermetic Principles that resolved this dichotomous experience for me. The Principle of Correspondence, often summed up by the phrase "As above, so below; as below, so above”  suggests that there is a harmony, agreement, and correspondence between the different planes of existence— the physical, mental, and spiritual. It implies that the microcosm reflects the macrocosm and that by understanding one, you can understand the other.

And especially consider the Principle of Polarity. This principle posits that "Everything is Dual; everything has poles; everything has its pair of opposites." It explains that opposites are essentially the same thing but with varying degrees of extremity. By understanding the nature of these opposites, one can reconcile the extremes and find harmony.

Also consider Jesus' true teachings of the Essenes that all is one. This idea encompasses several dimensions: Oneness with God: The Essenes emphasized a direct, personal relationship with God, whom they often referred to in terms that suggested closeness and immanence. This mirrors the teachings of Jesus, who spoke of God as being accessible and present ("the kingdom of God is within you" - Luke 17:21). Both the Essene and early Christian writings reflect a mystical understanding of oneness, where the individual soul's union with God is an attainable goal. This is evident in the more mystical aspects of Jesus' teachings, such as those found in the Gospel of John, where the unity of Jesus with the Father and the potential for followers to also be one with them is emphasized ("I and the Father are one" - John 10:30).

While intellectually knew this, now ‘innerstand’ it. I had to experience this stark dichotomy - this distortion before I could see the truth. Knowing this led me to realize that the human experience is also the Divine and the Divine is also the human experience. We can, however, believe in something that is not true. But remember that anything true exists on its own. For instance, a shadow is not real because it exists as a result of an obstruction of the light. The light is ever-present.

Thus we are spiritual beings having a human experience - not a human having some sort of illusory spiritual experience. Spirit is first.

After this integration. I received confirmation when I randomly texted my son “All good?” and he replied “All God” I trust that the universe reaffirmed my new innerstanding.